All the tourist spots in the world will be full with such petty traders. Some are men, some women and some children. However, the craft works sold are too expensive for me as these traders would think that all tourists are rich and can afford, practically, to buy at any price.

Nonetheless, some times I would buy from them if I happened to find something interesting. But, most of the time I would capture them with my camera rather than being captured by them in buying their wares.

The sigh of Casanova. I wonder how did he feel when he peeped at the world from the tiny windows? Regret? Remorseful? To be kept away from the world or the world from him?

I've always dreamed to go around the world. So, I decided to start my globe trotting after completing my my second degree. I've taken a break from my studies to visit the world. I've this dream - to visit all the wonders of the world and capture the moments. I wish to capture all the moments in pictures.

The moments in the past, the moments in ruins and the moments in the heart. To read and see others' travelogues is different from my own moments around the world.

Therefore, whenever I hit the reef in life or being dragged into the vicious circle of stress, I'll seek solace from this little corner in my heart - the world.

The world makes me feel minute; hence, all my problems become microbe. My sigh would not be sadder than Casanova's, my ruin would not be worse than the Colosseum's, and my grief will be shorter than dew drops, I believe. The Trojan horse is a symbol minus the wars and hatred. So, the world is big enough to stomach all the ups and downs of it dwellers, inclusive mine, of course.

Cool and calm

I was speechless to hear that I rejected the promotion offer. At times men are feeling so insecured, especially in the workplace, and they can go all out to destroy the others. Men are vicious.

As I've been rather cool and aloof towards the promotions, so, he has sent many of his men to come to me hoping to fish some reactions and comments from me. Well, he has failed to do so. I can be calm and cool.

As a superior, he has not enough of e-q to manage his own feelings. Not only he can't conceal his feelings well, at times, he shows his feelings in a rather irrational manner.

Well, I'll keep my cool and he'll be burned down by his own jealousy.

Without fear or fury

Today, I really gave my superior a piece of my mind. A man was promoted to the post which I've been holding for the past 8 years. Before the promotional chances came into the picture, I was entrusted with the job until last year when there came the chance to be promoted, another person was nominated. I was dropped but was made to believe that they nominated me until yesterday. I was still carrying out the duty until yesterday; but, today it was announced that another person was promoted to the post I was holding. I was not even dismissed!
Well, I went directly and asked the superior calmly. I made myself clear to him that I was not mad or surprised over the outcome. Honestly, when the news of promotion came last year, I had this sixth sense that I would be dropped. But, I just wanted him to tell me frankly whether I was considered at that time, well, the answer was also honest enough - NO. However, besides that, he could not explain why.

I just feel disillusioned at times as I've been telling and educating the young that success must come with hardwork. Being honest to ourselves and fair to the others should be the signposts in our life journey. However, in the real world, these are all tall tales and fallacies! Of course, I told him this straight to his face. I also added that work smart and get short-cuts are the keys to success instead, especially in this institution.
I was happy when I got all these off my chest. Of course, I explained myself very politely, without fear or fury, and, oh, that made my sarcasm of the year.

Do I really enjoy the things I'm doing? Do I really have the passion for my work? At times, I'm lost. I think sometimes I've lost my bearing in the mid of fufilling duties or meeting dealines.

Maybe it's the phase where one will get fed up with simply everything; but, not to the extent of hating everything. I think I've come here.

I know I just can't explain to anyone or expect others to understand my feelings. Maybe, it's time I have to do something different.

I always have this kind of feeling that I've to do something different, something that will excite me, something not so predictable; but, I can't make out clearly what I should do to make myself excited. Maybe partly it's because of the people around me. They are so predictable and not intellectually exciting. I know I can't be this honest to any of them. So, lately, I've withdrawn into my shell. Besides my routine meetings, I'll refrain myself from having any interation with anyone at all. Nobody is intellectually stimulating, so, I might as well be alone. Luckily, I don't feel lonely.

Maybe it's the capriconian nature in me that refuses to be sociable. I can be one if I want to, I know myself very well. But, I just don't feel like it.

I like to retreat into my own quiet world. Maybe I should go snorkelling or diving to enjoy the tranquility of the underwater world which I've missed; but, have no opportunity to do so now.